To Avenge or not to Avenge

A man, 84 years young, laid in a hospice bed, unable to speak due to the soreness of his throat caused by the trachea and tumor growing in his thyroid. Much to his dislike, he was also being fed intravenously due to this inability to swallow. However, before he lost his voice, he vowed to beat the cancer he was fighting. When we spoke about it, he would repeatedly tell me he was ‘strong like bull’. In reality, he was stronger. The strongest man I had ever had the pleasure of knowing. He was my father.

Throughout his police career, he never lost a brawl when the moment called for it. He was ‘undeafeted’ he would tell me as he lay in his hospital bed. It was a task of Shakespearean proportions. “Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more” are words that come to mind. Simply put, they mean to try again and again until one succeeds. Through it all that was his mindset. However, in the end, the cancer got the best of him, but he didn’t give up, not without putting up a tremendous fight. By the time we arrived to hospice on Saturday March 16th, his body was beginning to shut down. The doctor told me that he wouldn’t make it past the coming Thursday and we’d be lucky if he was still here come Saturday. He was not told this because I didn’t want to break his spirit. I owed him every opportunity to go out on his terms. By Tuesday, the nurses took him off his intravenous food, but I insisted he still get broth and water. I would tell them, that his mental strength would outlast what his body could handle. Thursday came and he was still fighting and still able to scribble a few words to communicate. They again told me time was critical and that he wouldn’t make it past Friday, so we arranged for veterans to honor my father who served in the Navy. He was on point and saluted them perfectly in unison, snapping his hand down forcibly as only one who loved and served his country could do. Then Saturday came, the day they said that we’d be lucky if we still had him. Saturday rolled into Sunday and Sunday into Monday night until he finally took his last breath on his terms. Still fighting, ‘strong like bull’.

To those who have lost loved ones to cancer or had loved ones beat cancer, mindset is a key ingredient to a successful outcome. And yes even those with the right mindset do lose that fight, but in many cases it prolongs the time they have with their loved ones. For my father, his cancer was Anaplastic Thyroid Cancer, or ATC, a very rare and highly aggressive cancer. From the time of his diagnosis to his death, it was 6 weeks. The doctors told us he had maybe a month to live, but his mindset, I believe, gave us an extra two special weeks that most probably wouldn’t have had under the same circumstances. For myself he was teaching me one final lesson. Before he lost his voice, he would ask me if I could ‘handle this’. He would tell me ‘you have to be strong. It’s going to get worse before it gets better’. For me the getting worse part was the worst possible outcome. Has it gotten any better? I miss him everyday, but the better part? Well I am stronger for having gone through that with him every day and by his bedside every night. That much is true.

So what does my telling you this story have to do with Avenge Athletic? What does it have to do with sports? Well, a lot actually. For myself, I wanted to honor him in some way, but I wasn’t quite sure how. So this is my why and my way to avenge the pain of losing the singular most important role model and best friend of my life. He was my biggest fan and I was his. Throughout all of my sporting endeavors he would be right by my side. We would run and workout together. He would work on football techniques with me, catch when I wanted to work on my pitching and we’d wrestle in the middle of the living room after dinner, teaching me how to center myself, still my heart and my head when under pressure and unable to escape. In this way, he would pass on little nuggets of wisdom and mindfulness. All of this shaped how I played sports, how I became the man I am today and be a good father to my children.

When it comes to sports, we spend a lot of time training. By and large mostly physical. We go on YouTube, we get private lessons, we are always pushing our physical limits, training harder to gain an edge. However, the edge that makes the difference is the one often deferred til later. Yet it is far too important to ignore because an athlete’s mental acuity is the razor’s edge that often separates two equally talented athletes. So as you begin this journey of fine tuning your mind, gaining mental skills to breakthrough those mental barriers that keeps you from breaking through to the next level, I ask that you smash that subscribe button and tell a team mate or friend to check out Avenge Athletic. In doing so you’ll stay up to date with the latest techniques to hone your mental skills making you and your team mates (or team if you’re a coach) a better athlete and team a better team for it. Act now and you’ll also gain access to our four simple mental skills hacks to take your game to the next level!